And so it begins....

The down fall of a relationship. So so good at the beginning, everything great, and then it begins to dwindle down. You know how I can tell? When I'm still crying over him being gone and he's completely unphased by it all. I don't even hear that he loves me, unless I tell him first (at this point he feels he has to so he does it). I told him how he never tells me he loves me anymore, and he says he'll work on expressing it more because he does, and two days later still nothing. Even that night he said he would call me because he likes to hear my voice and he never called. Great, another night spent alone crying myself to sleep. He's practically forgotten me, he doesn't text me or call me. I have to text him first and then it takes him forever to text me back. Calling him is a complete waste of time lately too, he can never stay on the phone long enough to make it worth it and the time we do spend on the phone it's mostly in silence, and then I have to start up awkward conversation that ends immediately. I don't even think he really misses me like he says he does.... and he doesn't even really say it any more...... maybe I should discuss options with him? I don't know if he'll take it seriously. I mean, he will, but he won't actually talk to me about it. Especially now, since he's visiting his family and all.... he likes to ignore me when he's around them, and I won't lie, it kind of hurts... feeling forgotten and all that does anyways.... Maybe I should talk to him about it when I go out there? If I go out there... he's not very committed to that idea anymore either. And I wouldn't want him to waste money on me... or my kids... if the route we end up taking is breaking up. I'm at a loss with him. He's making it seem like he's forgotten me, or that he's done with me, and I don't know what to do. Then again, I don't even know what's going on on his end, because he doesn't talk to me anymore. You know, since he left on Wednesday we've spent a total of 1 hour texting and somewhere around 72 minutes talking on the phone. We use to text constantly and spend hours a day talking on the phone! Do you get where I'm coming from now? How it all seems to be falling apart now.... and this relationship is practically non-existent... Maybe we can't make it work long distance. Maybe it's one of those relationships that can't work that way. Or maybe I'm just too needy for it to work. I feel needy now anyways... I need him here, and I need to talk to him, and I need him to tell me he loves me, and I need to know what's going on his head about us, and I need him to stop shutting me out. I told him the other day that he's too busy for me, and he told me he wasn't..... and yet we still haven't been talking. Not because of me, I've been trying over and over and over to initiate some sort of conversation with him, and have come up unsuccessful each time. This needs to be resolved soon, preferrably today, because I can't be sitting around like this.... depressed, lonely, and utterly pathetic... waiting for him to say SOMETHING to me. I'm going to try and text him to discuss this. $10 says it doesn't last past 20 minutes of conversation after his reply, which will also probably take 20 minutes to receive.