-happy, dreamy, sigh-I am SO in love with you. Happy in love. I've not had one ounce of worry, or stress, or disbelief with you. I trust you full heartedly and this is something I haven't been able to do with somebody in such a long time. I feel like I can say things so easily to you, and that I never have to worry about lying because you may judge me for who I am now, or who I use to be. You have no clue what a relief that is! I honestly, for the longest time thought that I would constantly have to lie to people to feel accepted in their eyes, because parts of me just weren't good enough. It's not like that with you though. I have never told you a lie, I feel no need to ever tell you a lie, and I'm comfortable with telling you that I've lied before. That's crazy, not really something many people would admit to if you ask me. Then again, that really could just be me. And can I just say, I'm so glad I decided to flirt with you that day, even though you came off as not interested in me any sort of possible way? You really did by the way. I was trying super hard and you kept shooting me down it seemed like. The most reaction I could get out of you was "haha", did you ever notice that? I swear I was being so obvious but it's like you just weren't catching on. You are one tough cookie, you know? I love that about you... how you're so clueless that is... and everything else about you. Everything about you is comforting to me. I enjoy so much about you that some times I'm afraid to discuss things with you... mostly because I would hate to discuss and get my hopes up and then worry about it all falling apart. Like the distance thing. It's sweet of you to throw that option out to me, and honestly I would love to plan for you to do that now, but I couldn't. I wouldn't want it to ruin things between us, I'd hate to for that to be a reason to ruin things. I also could never take you away from your family. In a way, the meeting up first really isn't going to make much of a difference because I still, regardless, would be too worried that it would ruin what we have.... I still love the thought of you moving here though, and the thought of waking up next to you in the mornings (for a longer period of time than visits) and falling asleep next to you, hearing your breathing beside me instead of through the phone... being able to wrap my arms around you after a bad day at work, or just because I want to... and telling you I love you to your face daily. :( all of this is making me sad now. I want it more now than I did before I started writing this. Maybe one day, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see... and we will.. Fun fact of the day though, I love you and you are so very important to me.
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